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whining & dining by michael whiner | contact:

West Street

This week I recommended Michael and I try out the latest of Chris Bodker's fleet of glossy dining rooms. West Street in, that's right, London's West St. The joint's fitted out with a swish black leather/gleaming chrome mezzanine, a sexy basement sofa affair and a rather flat 80 cover restaurant upstairs, they've spent their money put it that way. An apron's throw from the veteran Ivy restaurant, West Street has a tough few months ahead of them as they try to cash in on Medialand…or, as they are quick to deny, the Ivy's off cuts.
West Street is a bold venture and, after being twice left cold by 'The Avenue' on St James I was apprehensive about the quality of both service and food. Michael is already in full flow…

"I’m often accused of insensitivity… What? Oh, right. I’ll have a large spaghettini with crab and Girolles followed by the venison platter and chuck a lobster on will you, get some and turf action going. May I ask why you are waiting at table whilst wearing a Walkman? Oh, it’s a hearing aid. Easy mistake to make. Now push off there’s a good fellow. CAN YOU HEAR ME ALRIGHT?! Okay, no need for language like that.

Now where was I? Oh yes, I’m often accused of insensitivity but as unlikely as it seems there are some people around who make me look like Mother Theresa. One such person is estranged Welsh thespian, Sir Anthony Hopkins. His advice to people traumatised by the attack on the World Trade Centre was to go and see his new film, ‘Hearts in Atlantis’. "I'd like to think that this film will hopefully bring some solace and peace to people," he said. So there you have it. Forget professional counselling next time you’re suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and get yourself down to the cinema instead.

Another epithet that is often applied to me is ‘opinionated’. Now I find this a curious label to use. After all who among us does not have an opinion about something? Apart from Ian Duncan Smith, of course. But that’s only because he’s an android constructed in the bowels of Tory Central Office. But I digress. You see I only opine about subjects on which I know something about. Unlike say, Vanessa Feltz. Now it seems that there is another name to add to the growing list of professional rentagobs - Ricky Tomlinson. When appearing at the premiere for his new film ‘Mike Bassett: England Manager’, he was asked what he would do if he was the real England manager he replied that he’d do something about the player’s hairstyles. "I'll appoint a new team hairdresser. Some of the England lads' haircuts are a disgrace. Seaman's ponytail will have to go and Beckham will have to make his mind up whether he wants a crop or a mohican." Coming from a man who has had the same hairstyle since approximately 1978, the words, ‘pot’, ‘kettle’ and ‘black’ distinctly come to mind.

Blockbuster video rental stores are not places one usually associates with social conscience. However it has just announced that videos which contain violent material are to be labelled with warning signs reading, "In the light of the events of September 11, please note that this product contains scenes that may be considered disturbing to some viewers". What an excellent idea. While they are at it maybe they could extend the scheme? For example Adam Sandler films could be labelled, "Please note this product contains scenes which may insult the intelligence of the viewer."

Just a suggestion."

recent whines...

January 2002 - St John - Clerkenwell EC1

December 7 - Hell

November 30 - Birthday at Brula

November 23 - Picnic on the Heath

November 16 - Les Trois Soeurs

November 9 - Ed's

November 2 - Burger King: Piccadilly

October 26 - Lindsay House

October 19 - Darcy's

October 5 - Spitz of Spittlefields

September 28 - West Street

September 21 - St John's

September 7 - Southeast W9

August 31 - Rogues

August 24 - Royale With Cheese

August 17 - Rules

August 10 - Manana

August 3 - £15/head at Mazzo

July 27 - La Scala

July 20 - La Putain de la Tour

July 13 - The Real Zorba

July 6 - Palefico

June 29 - The Moon and Pigeons

June 22 - Post Theatre

June 15 - Danang Vice

June 7 - La Crebiche

June 1 - B.A.N.G.E.R.S

May 25 - The Ritz

May 18 - The Harpo

May 11 - Trading Braces

May 4 - Hijo De Puta

April 27 - Broadway!

April 20 - Escoffier Steakhouse

archive >>>

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