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film by niel oseman | February 9th 2001 | contact:

Cow Trek

To bovinely go...
The Kitchen presents a Neil Oseman & Jez Slater production of a film by The Punk Kings of Worcestershire. From prize-winning director Neil Oseman and the comic genius of writer Matt Hodges comes a micro-budget journey of side-splitting surreality.
"Those two guys will go far." - TV comedian Richard Herring

Captain Lightstar and his illustrious crew man not a spaceship, but a dairy cow. And when their guide, the enigmatic alien lifeform known only as "Farmer Giles", sells Daisy to the ruthless Farmer Blackbeard, our heroes must make a daring bid for freedom. Can they negotiate the hazards of Jolly Roger Farm and escape the cold blade of the piratical Blackbeard's cutlass?
Cow Trek was shot on Mini-DV in Worcestershire and Herefordshire, for a miniscule £300, in the week leading up to Christmas 2000. It was filmed on location at Longlands Farm, and in actor Chris Jenkins' basement in Malvern Wells. Chris also composed the film's score, while fellow actor Si Dovey doubled as the production designer, hammering together a spaceship bridge with materials from the local Focus DIY. Lee Richardson, Jim McKelvie and Mike Hodges, the writer's brother, also starred. Gap year media student Jez Slater co-produced, while David Abbott and the mono-monikered Jeff shared sound recording duties.

Some comments by the viewing public on BT's site - shared/index_charts.cfm?gotofilm=209

"This rocks harder than a live Bon Jovi gig."
"Comic or insane genius? I wonder what goes on in the udder room?"

Visit the website at or e-mail Neil at or Matt at
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