"You see he didn't start out as a robot. He was a policeman who was gunned down so naturally they transplant his head onto a robot body to keep him alive and turn him into Cybocop. But the thing they forgot was his balls, isn't it? He thought with his balls. They controlled his instincts. "Do I shoot the criminals? What are my balls telling me?" That was how he operated. Without them he's just a big toaster with a gun, isn't he?"

Paul Verhervervint is Holland's biggest export since the tulip. His brash and trashy style of filmmaking, not to mention the often violent or otherwise controversial subject matter has made his films incredibly popular with moviegoers worldwide. Films such as ‘Crude Instinct', ‘Lapdancers', ‘Cybocop' and others have all been extremely successful at the box office - if not always with the critics.

"The Love Bug features a car that comes to life. Is it powered by the love of Jesus Christ? We aren't offered any evidence that this is the case so we must, unfortunately, assume that it is in fact animated purely by the power of the Lord of Darkness. I still feel an urge to pray whenever I see a Volkswagen Beetle."

Watching4Jesus.com is a website run by the Divine Church of Holy Intervention in Alabama, Texas. It aims to provide a method whereby films are rated and classified from a Fundamentalist Christian perspective.

As Netribution begins to republish treats from the Carnal Cinema archive, newly accompanied with cartoons from Eric Dubois, we're proud to reprint Dr Andrew's 2002 'interview' with the outfit's spokesman, the Reverend Aloysius Tork.

"Is a very powerful love story. There is man. There is woman. Man falls over. Woman falls in love. Man wears funny hat. Oh no! Is woman dying of disease? Yes. Then man fall over some more. She get better. They get married. The end."

Roberto Benitio is best know as the Italian comedian and film maker who directed ‘Wasn’t World War Two Fun?’ which swept the board at the Oscars two years ago. He charmed the American public with his exhuberance during numerous television interviews and with his hilarious antics during the ceremony itself. Who can forget the sight of him mooning Jack Nicholson? Or pushing a custard pie into Steven Spielberg’s face? In another instalment from the vault, and newly illustrated by Eric Dubois, Dr Andrew went to talk to him.

It has often been said that men age and women mature. However women, like wine, tend to mature in one of two ways. They either ripen into something full-flavoured, with lots of body and a myriad of intriguing flavours or they turn onto an unpleasant, acidic vinegar.

It's further said that there are no good parts in Hollywood for the older woman. Well, one person would take issue with that. She's about to enter her seventy-fourth year and shows no sign of slowing down. In her time she's worked with James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart and Kirk Douglas. She once called Cary Grant, "a worse kisser then my dog". I went to Beverly Hills to meet the one and only Ms. Margaux Shapiro.