As I said at the time everybody knew it was a sham of a marriage. He was out chasing every good-looking young man he could get his hands on. Hmm.I dont think much to this triple bacon double cheese king do you? Its surprisingly bland on the back of the palate when as anyone with a decent education knows, a really well prepared beef patty should attack the taste buds like an Islamic Fundamentalist Terrorist.
Have you heard the rumour that Tom Cruise is to give the CIA a public relations boost in Mission: Impossible 3? By all accounts he wants to use the film to portray the intelligence gathering agencies in a positive light. So thatll be unlike in, say the first two Mission: Impossible films where the CIA is shown to be a shadowy and sinister organisation riddled with traitorous double agents. Oh, well Ill look forward to that. Much like Im looking forward to my forthcoming bout of haemorrhoid surgery. Toms been here before of course. His film Top Gun encouraged the US navy to erect recruitment posts in the foyers of American cinemas. Oddly the American military didnt try the same tactic with Saving Private Ryan. I wonder why?
Unless youve been living on Neptune for the last few months then you cant have failed to notice that the Harry Potter film is almost upon us. But the big question that seems to have gripped the nations media is "Was Daniel dubbed?" It seems that a story in The Sun (so it must be true) claims that the star of the film, Daniel Radcliffe suffered the indignity of his voice breaking before the end of shooting, resulting in a severe mismatching of his voice between most of the rest of the film and the last couple of scenes. To remedy this a voice double was employed to rerecord a few lines of Harrys dialogue so they sounded like Daniel pre-ball drop. The article even went so far as to name him as Joe Sowerbutts. They interviewed him about it. Hes even playing Harry Potters voice in the forthcoming computer game. So why then have Warner Brothers felt it necessary to rush out a press release denying that anybody other then Daniel Radcliffes voice speaks any of Harrys lines in the film? The studio doth protest too much if you ask me.
Now as one who likes to speak his mind you wont be surprised to learn that, on occasion, Ive been called upon to defend myself physically. Well the same fate befell another cinematic legend earlier this week. None other then Gene Hackman himself was involved in a roadside brawl on Sunset Boulevard after his car ran into the backside of a Volvo. Instead of exchanging insurance details in the traditional fashion, tempers flared and a punch-up ensued. Although he hotly denies it, by all accounts Gene suffered the embarrassment of being severely clobbered, right in the Hackmans. And I always thought he was a real acting heavyweight too. Hell never look at the Golden Globes the same way again.
I wish to propose a toast. To Gene Whacked Em!"