Good Mr McGreggor, Mr Pix's reprimands, I think, are for me.

I have been gazing forlorn into my pint this past few months muttering as I curse what I would like to describe as poor typing but indeed may have been sudden subconsciousness vindictiveness.

All I wish the record to note, however, is that I meant to say pert.

And I stand ready to take whatever punishment the harpees of Harrods may dish out with their cunningly sharpened coffee spoons and torturous toast and tea.